Monday, 30 December 2013

Goodbye, 2013. Looking forward to 2014.

It's been a wonderful year, 2013. For now, I must go away for a while on my motorbike. Until then, we shall meet again in 2014!

Saturday, 28 December 2013

Senior Officials Seldom Available to Duties, Does Crappy High Fives Instead

Many have been complaining that senior officials from public bodies and government agencies are too slow to respond to the needs of the public. This is despite being "in compliance with the Government’s Key Performance Index (KPI)".

Presumably, this Key Performance Index is to present to themselves how good they are and therefore it means that they deserve bonuses and raises while they go out playing yet another round of golf:

"We're so good we announce an index saying that we perform well! And because we perform well, we give ourselves bonuses and raises!"  *crappy high five*
Most common complaints are that some senior officials' signatures are required in several important documents, but because they are seldom around, these officers are either always “outstation”, “tied-up in meetings” or “on leave”.

Also common complaints include the District Office, Miri City Council, Natural Resources and Environment Board and Environment Department were labelled being too slow to perform their service. On top of that, the police,  Road Transport Department, Public Works Department, Drainage and Irrigation Department, National Registration Department, Welfare Department, Miri Hospital, and pretty much everything else, were cited as “struggling to improve”.

Some of these complaints appeared on the state PAS website.

The hardest hit are the people who come to these departments from the rural areas, seeking signatures of senior officers to endorse forms related to statutory declaration, but are then told that these officials are not in. The counter personnel would often give excuses, saying that these officers are either out for meetings or on leave and telling the visitors to come back another day. Because transportation to and fro from rural areas are needlessly complicated, requiring 4x4s, boats, planes, bicycles, hiking, jumping through fire hoops and outrunning rolling boulders, this can be a costly affair.

This sort of pathetic service is causing a lot of hardship to the people, especially those who have to spend a lot of money just to travel to the city and get their documents signed,” according to the party’s deputy state commissioner Jofrie Jaraiee.

 So, on the opposite end of the (weighing) Scale (pun CLEARLY intended HAHAHAR) when asked for comments, Assistant Communications Minister and Senadin assemblyman Datuk Lee Kim Shin assistingly communicated that while he would not respond to complaints posted by PAS, he would speak to the heads of various departments mentioned to determine the truth.

 Naturally the Yes Men are going to say, "huh we haven't heard of such complaints-clearly PAS must be lying and making up stories", and then proceed to give themselves crappy high-fives and more bonuses and raises.

Crappy High-Five!!

"Crappy high-five all around everybodee!"

Thursday, 26 December 2013

Police: Surrender Homemade Firearms Now!

This is a firearm. It's illegal to make one in your home. I think that's the one.

Apparently, Mirians have real talent for manufacturing dangerous things - there are some people who are making firearms in their homes! Why? Well to shoot Bambi of course!

Miri police chief, ACP Mun Kock Keong, has said that arrests and fatalities involving homemade firearms has occured in Miri and also other areas of Sarawak. And people are still making firearms for hunting or for sale, despite being warned sternly not to shoot themselves or their loved ones (either accidentally, or deliberately).

He said, “I would like to issue another warning to those in possession of homemade firearms — what they are doing is a very serious offence under the law where upon conviction, the punishment can be very heavy with lengthy jail sentences."

Possession of any firearm without a licence is a very serious crime, regardless of whether the firearms are made at home or made in the factory,” he said.

There have been numerous cases of children getting killed because of these weapons in their houses that had been discharged accidentally."

These cases are happening from Taman Tunku and Kuala Baram. That pretty much covers Miri from one end to the other.

"If you have a firearm, you will need to surrender them immediately to the nearest police station. "

"Don’t wait until you have to pay a ‘deadly’ price,” he warned.

On the latest seizure of two homemade firearms in Lambir on Friday, two men were found possessing an air gun and a shotgun, complete with a handfull of bullets. Investigation revealed that these two men had manufactured these weapons for hunting purposes. The penalty is still very severe even if the homemade firearms are only for the purpose of hunting, but there are no specifics on how severe.

On a typical hunt..

Saturday, 30 November 2013

Deliberate Oil Dumping in Senadin Will Start a Zombie Apocalypse

Photos from Malaysian Nature Society Miri Facebook Page

miscreant dumped a barrel of what seemed to be oil or tar near the Golden Royal Villa housing area in Senadin. After the discovery on 17th November 2013, a report was made to the Department of Environment (DOE) or Jabatan Alam Sekitar (JAS).

Photos from Malaysian Nature Society Miri Facebook Page

  The DOE (JAS) responded quickly to the situation by cordoning off the area by the next day (November 18th), sternly warning the dumped oil not to move around and to stay confined within the taped area.

   It is not known who is the culprit that is unhappy with the grass being green in colour and wanted to change it to black. Because oil on to the ground would seep deep into the ground, this is Bad. Why is that Bad? Well, we spent so much money and time trying to get crude oil from under ground to the surface by the use of oil well, only to send it back underground again - well that's just plain stupid.

  Also, more importantly would be that thing about how that oil will contaminate with underground water. As we all know life needs water, specifically, PLANTS:
Here is a picture of a plant. We're certain because it says "Plants" at the bottom.

 By polluting the underground water the plants will die or grow awry.. When that happens......


No plants are going to push back a zombie invasion. We will all die in a Zombie Apocalypse.

Similar discoveries such as pollution or deliberate toxic waste dumping should be made to .  If we don't do it for green coloured grass, do it for zombie apocalypse prevention.

Malaysian Nature Society Miri Facebook Page  -

Incie Wincie SpiderMan Discovered Up a Waterspout

Spiderman at Waterspout Pipe. Photo from Borneo Post
The Miri Fire Station received a call regarding a suicide attempt spiderman attempt near Permyjaya at a training institute. The firemen arrived to see a teenager, a hospitality student, standing at the edge of his hostel window since 7am.

The firemen failed to coax the spiderman to get back into the building. Then the spiderman, for whatever reason, did a Spider Jump and hung on to the waterspout piping on the building. Apparently, he got stuck there, and then the firemen used the ladder to bring him down.

Miri deputy police chief Supt Stanley Jonathan Ringgit when met during a press conference yesterday said, “The case is being investigated as suicide attempt."

But, it's NOT a suicide attempt is it? Because, with suicide attempts, people jump DOWN, not UP and then hang off pipes.

According to Borneo Post, the police had detained the student to help facilitate their investigation. Wow, what a nice thing to do for a person who had just attempted suicide. You DETAIN him, I'm sure that'll make him feel better and not reattempt suicide.

And according to The Star Online news :
“Throughout the communicating process, we took other counter measures like trying to set up a makeshift safety net below just in case.”

And this is the "safety net" they were talking about :
Yes, a mattress. On top of the angled concrete like that, not going to help much is it?

Incie Wincie Spiderman,
climbed up the building ledge,
then came the firemen,
get down safely-they pledged,

Incie Wincie Spiderman,
then jumped up the waterspout,
and then all the firemen
they all rescued him-  no doubt.

Read the two wildly different accounts:

Borneo Post:

The Star :

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Twin Otter Tries Offroading in Bario

Planes are zero-wheel drive. Sorry no off road please! The Twin Otter is embarrassed.

Bario, Miri: A Maswings DHC6 (Twin Otter) on Nov 27th 2013, at Bario went off the runway and got stuck in soft ground during the end of the landing run on its way back to the terminal.

Maswings flight MH-3434 with the registration 9M-MDK flying from Miri to Bario with had landed safely on Bario's runway, taxied to the end of the runway to turn around back to the terminal when the right wheel went off the runway causing the aircraft to get stuck in soft ground.

Rare video footage of what went on during the landing:

"I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you"

Having gotten totally stuck, the passengers disembarked onto the runway, there were no injuries and no damage to the aircraft. It is not known if the pilots asked the passengers to push the stuck planes out or not..

The aircraft was eventually moved, examined and released to make the return flight MH-3435 to Miri with a delay of nearly 6 hours. Again, not sure if it is indeed the pilot asked the passengers to push it out that way.

^ Borneo Post reported that the plane has "somehow" became stuck when it turned towards the terminal. Because nobody could ever figure out how planes get stuck in soft ground. Ever. Because Borneo Post.

When interviewed, the Twin Otter said that it would never try offroading again. When asked whether if its name is Otter and where is its twin, the Twin Otter merely kept quiet and flew off into the sunset.


Sunday, 17 November 2013

The 90km/h Corner

One day, discovered near the airport............

Friday, 8 November 2013

Terrifying Mystery Sea Creature Found Off Coast of Miri

A mystery fish about a foot long with 'terrifying tusk-like spikes' at the front near the mouth and spines along its body has been caught off the coast of Miri. It has a flat bottom, sort of like a bottom feeder.
The star of this news is Sapar Mansor, 43, from Taman Ceria, Permyjaya. He is the one who fished the strange creature out of the sea. Sapar said he and a friend went out in a fishing boat and travelled hours to the sea early in the morning for fish using fishing rods.

Among the catch is this scaly spiky tusky creature that he'd never seen before which he then brought it home to show his wife, who has decided to put it on her plate, who's probably thinking about lunch.

Yum yum?
Well eventually they decided that it was not to be eaten and they decided to dry it, preserve it and garnish it with chopped onions and... err, no.

The fish has armor-like sharp spines on the top and bottom of its body, which gets progressively smaller towards the tail.
The Protected Areas and Biodiversity Conservation Division of Sarawak Forestry Corporation (SFC) is struggling to identify the creature. Oswald Braken Tisen, the deputy general manager, said: 'SFC has not been able to established what kind of fish it is but is in the process of checking with relevant authorities.'

But we all know what that is...

That explains it once and for all.


National Geographic identified the species with ease. According to the article it is the "spotted armour gurnard (Satyrichthys rieffeli)", sometimes called a type of "searobin".

"Holy Sea-Urchin, Sea-Batman!"

"To the Sea-BatMobile, SeaRobin!"

Sunday, 27 October 2013

"Handicapped Parking", Part 2

Handicapped Parking
Taken today! This person sure likes his handicapped the privileges, doesn't he. Usually for real disabled, there is a sticker to be placed on the side of the car with the serial number on it.

Why isn't the parking attendants issuing a fine? Oh right, because they don't go into the Municipal Parking grounds at all!

Monday, 21 October 2013

"Handicapped Parking"

Handicapped Parking Alright: Born without brains

Taken just outside the Miri Municipal Council. This contractor van is using the handicapped parking, and I really don't know what to make of the other two cars behind it.

Monday, 7 October 2013

Malindo Air Kills Miri-KL Flights After Inaugurating Miri-KL Flights

A typical Malindo Air Inauguration

Malindo Air will screw with all its KL-Miri customers next month by suspending their flights by next November. This news came immediately after Malindo Air announced that it will woo customers with its Miri - KL flights that started June 14th 2013.

No reason is given about this what they described as an "indefinite suspension", but it has been thought that probably either general incompetence or lack of foresight.

Malindo Air had also suspended its KL - Tawau flights, months after they inaugurated its KL-Tawau flights on June 26th.

Those who had already booked and paid for tickets for these two flights are advised to run in circles and panic and say good bye to their hard-earned money. Or to contact Malindo Air sales office, which means that probably nobody will pick up the phones there.

Read more:

Friday, 27 September 2013

Hornbill Caught by Poachers, Poaching Caught on Camera, Poachers Caught by Police, News Caught the Public's Heart

Photo of the 3 idiots posing for the camera, loafing about when they should be working, what more using that time to catch birds. Guy on the far left airing his belly. As that's how he gets nutrients, moisture, and air. By osmosis.

These three persons were seen poaching a hornbill from Piasau Camp on 23rd September, 2013 Monday. A photo was uploaded onto a Malaysian Nature Society (MNS) Miri Branch FaceBook page with the following description:

"This three guys happen to have a field day this afternoon. They caught the hornbill by the head and tied it legs. I requested to release and afraid to come close to them. They went away after that."

Hornbills, being wild birds, were not meant to be kept. They can't be kept in captivity. It would be impossible otherwise action would be taken to breed them and increase the population.

Why would you want to catch a hornbill? What's the matter, Angry Birds not entertaining enough??

Members of the public have informed the police that day, and recent news has it that the suspects have been caught yesterday evening. The suspected thieves confessed that the hornbill, affectionately known as "Faridah" had died on the day they caught it, and they led the police to recover the carcass of the bird from the rubbish bin at Jalan Datuk Edward Jeli in Piasau.

Hornbills have lifelong mates. Because Faridah has a mate known - as "Jimmy", Jimmy has since been missing since she was captured. Apparently the pair of hornbills played a big role in maintaining the population of the birds in the park - those two having produced about 56 offspring.

Hornbills are totally protected under Ordinance and the penalties for keeping one as a pet, killing, hunting, capturing, selling, trading or disturbing them, or possessing any recognisable parts of these birds are severe – a RM25,000 fine and three years’ imprisonment.

If there is one good out of this, is that this tragic news had had stirred up quite the interest on the hornbills and birds in Piasau Garden - raising the much needed awareness to the need to protect the state’s wildlife.

Malaysian Nature Society Miri :


Thursday, 26 September 2013

Upside Down Flag at Government Building

An upside down flag has been seen flying outside a government building along Jalan Mukah. According to someone recorded as speaking in the newspaper, that is "tantamount to disrespecting the symbol of the sovereignty of Malaysia".

...or is it?

According to the Glossary of vexillology in Wikipedia, flying a flag upside down is a sign of distress. What distress, I'm letting you figure it out.

Anywhoo, here's a picture, courtesy at our all time favorite news source, Borneo Post.

Taking a cue from a recent comment by the deputy minister's comments about the petrol prices (that "they didn't raise the prices, merely reduced the subsidy"), then surely this flag isn't upside down, it is merely angled at 180°.

Monday, 16 September 2013

916 Street Party in Miri During Malaysia Day is 1/3 Malaysian

Ooops, wrong venue. It's not located at the Indoor Stadium

Having been rained on by Mother Nature, this 16th September "Malaysia Day" event is being hailed as the "biggest and most happening event" in Miri. Probably because there isn't much else bigger or happening in Miri at the same time. Well aside from the jams caused.

The event, which is essentially one big concert on a well-used main street, caused traffic jams and inconveniences to those that live or work in the area. And one of those inconvenienced is yours truly. Let's face it. If you're going to hold a concert in the middle of a highly used main road next to a housing estate and closing off that road instead of... I don't know, maybe, you know.. using the INDOOR STADIUM that has PLENTY OF PARKING instead of letting people PARK THEIR CARS IN FRONT OF RANDOM HOUSES BLOCKING ACCESS, yeah I figured not many would be too thrilled.

The Miri Stadium looks like a blurry Robotic Blue & White Tortoise, so it must be awesome to use, right?

So enough with the complaints. Because I don't really need to. Just go out and ask someone, they'll say more things than the Internet space can contain.

So this concert consists of performances by bands and DJs that are not Malaysian.

Not Malaysian Bands and DJs, such as :

- international disc-jockey (DJ) Honey G from Bangkok
- the Mocha Girls from Philippines

 There's a singer too;

- Mizz Nina from Kuala Lumpur

Ah, well that last one was at least, from Malaysia. Scoring 1/3 isn't so bad I guess. It's an acceptable standard in these parts. In Malaysia, one-third is a pass with flying colors.

Thursday, 29 August 2013

Public Complaints About Bad Shape of Miri Stadium

It seems that the public are complaining about outdoor stadium. Specifically, its shape. I mean, an oval shape is just embarassing. Why not octagonal? Or hendecagonal or dodecagonal shaped? Oval shape is so last century. And because oval is actually a large 'zero' then the stadium is a zero. No other way about it.

Well, besides its shape, the facilities within were not maintained well. So this raises the question of whether Miri City lives up to is image or not, when it can't even maintain the stadium properly. For example, the running track, which was supposed to be red, is now gray, cracking and probably very yucky.

Piasau assemblyman Alan Ling Sie Kiong visited the stadium discovered problems with the design of the stadium itself (and I don't mean just its shape), which is flawed as the gate was right by the long jump, so anyone attempting a long jump will become a short jump because if there are people going trough the gate at the same time they will collide.

“The neglect and poor design of the stadium does not reflect Miri’s commitment to sports and it being selected as one of the country’s sports research centre,” he said.

And shape. Oval shaped is just so last century.

Sunday, 18 August 2013

Archery Championship - Miri : WINNING

Miri archers won the Team Championship Challenge Trophy for the first time with a collection of five gold medals.  Team leader said something-something about mental and spiritual motivation or something, but the important thing is, Miri archers WIN at archery!

Legolas expresses surprise

They also took four silver and another four bronze medals.

Miri was represented by 27 archers who competed against 67 other archers from Bintulu, Kuching and Limbang from Sarawak, as well as teams from Terengganu, Sabah and Germany. The annual championship was held in Bintulu from August 12-17.

Now that it's been proven Mirians are sharp shooters, perhaps we can do some archery-sniper style shots at those rising crime rates.

Read more:

Friday, 2 August 2013

Putting 2 & 2 Together : Great Diving Sites & Most Offenses

I saw this headline in our favorite online news site - Borneo Post - recently:

and then, I saw this headline :


Sunday, 28 July 2013

Big-Screen Buffs Rejoice: TGV to Open Cinema in Miri 2014


TGV Cinemas Sdn Bhd will open an eight-screen cinema complex in Miri, Sarawak by early next year. So besides Star Cineplex (the Low-Calorie version) and Golden Screen Cinema (the Diet version - I think), TGV is going to open an eight-screen cinema complex very soon. Probably to be called Sugar-Free version.

Where in Miri though? I have no freakin' idea. Uh, they forgot to tell.

Possible guesses: That new building in front of Imperial Mall? Because that building is like the kid in school who tries to outdo everything you did, one-up everything you had, and even try to have the same friends you had. It's just that kind of building. In this case that buidling looks like it is trying to one-up Bintang Megamall. Which is fine, because no one really likes Bintang Megamall anyway. Because of the jams it causes. Buildings cause traffic jams? Welcome to Miri.

So, I digress a little bit.

What can you do with eight screens?  8 screens * 2 hour movies = 16 hours of viewing time, that's practically waking person's whole day! After which is 8 hours of sleep, perfect for the Big Screen Junkie / soon-to-be-zombie.
Feed me movies... moar.. I SAID MOAR MOVIES

If what I'm reading is correct, it seems like Miri is TGV's first foray into East Malaysia. They "may expand" to Kuching and Kota Kinabalu in time. You know, probably starting with Mirian as guinea pigs.

Because we all know all Mirians (in the eyes of elsewhere) are all just lounging around on oil with oil wells sticking out of their backyards, are rich as hell and can't spend the money quickly enough.
Read moar
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